Ramble on.

There’s a lot to be done before we can, involving finances and some other things, but the fact remains that we could be moving out of state for the first time. Both mom and I were born here and have never lived anywhere else. Aside from various places in the state, of course. But we’ve never gone past the borders permanently. So both of us are understandably nervous about it. 

Personally, I’m only reluctant to leave my friends behind. They’re more of a family to me than my own flesh and blood, so moving away from them honestly scares me and brings me to tears. I don’t want to leave them, but like mom said, it’d be a fresh start for both of us- new state, new home, new jobs. We could get away from everything that’s been holding us back and start over. 

But you know me. I’m a chicken-shit and don’t like change that much. So yeah, I’m a bit of a bumbling mess right now because my head is swimming with thoughts of what needs to be taken care of here in VA before we can even think of moving, thoughts of finding a job somewhere in the new state (we aren’t sure where yet- NC, KY, or TN are looking most likely), having to move across state lines, transferring prescriptions, finding new doctors, making sure we have health insurance and benefits (since if mom leaves her current job, she loses that coverage), getting new plates and new IDs, transferring bank stuff… And that’s only the practical things. It’s not even covering my anxiety deciding to throw in the “what if” marathon and of course, missing my friends and family who are still here in VA or up north. 

I also realized that if we do move, I won’t be able to visit daddy very often (it’s already an hour-long trip- if we go out of state, it’d be over 5 hours just to make it to Frederickburg), and we won’t be able to visit my grandparents or Janet, either. And being able to see my one LIVING grandmother would be nearly impossible without at least a month of planning and stress. 

Gah. Stupid brain. Shut up and let me get some damn sleep. Yeesh.